Willllieess

So I have been gone for 3 days now and it feels like a dream. I am in probably the most beautiful city in the entire world having the greatest time, yet I feel like an emotionless zombie in a constant daze. All I can think about is how much I miss them.

TIA

Tugume-

I want you to know that you are truly one of the most, if not THE most, incredible persons I have met. I have never seen someone so in control of themselves at all times and in everything they do like you are. You are intelligent, polite (oh God you are soooo polite), easy-going, so dedicated to whatever you are doing at that moment, funny.. scratch that… soooo funny, friendly, talented, loving and just all around awesome!

There is so much I want to learn about you and learn from you. I want to teach you everything I know. I have never once heard you ask for anything from anyone, get angry at anyone for anything, or complain about anything at all. However, I have seen you ALWAYS so graciously thank everyone for anything and everything, help anyone you see in need, and do anything asked of you with motivation as if it was for yourself.

We have the most awesome convorsations about everything, and I am stoked that you like all the music I have been showing you. Also, I have yet to meet as good a competitor at bloody knuckles as you.
I know that you are going to grow up to be an amazing person and there is nothing I would love more than to see that first-hand and help you with that. I am going to do anything I can to help you achieve your goal of playing football in England… I know you are good enough.



Isaac-

You are an amazing person. You are always so concentrated on the task at hand, no matter what it is, that I sometimes wonder if you are human. You think of everything and make sure that it is perfect. For being so young and so small it is astounding how everyone in the entire school looks up to you. It hurts me to see how much of your hard effort goes unnoticed. You always try to make things better for everyone and are always thinking of others… Well except when I let you guys use the camera, that’s when you don’t care about anyone and alwayyyss think it’s your turn, ahaha.

I can see pain and sadness in your eyes, even though you try hard to cover it and pretend it’s not there. Life has not been easy for you and you are well aware of it. I can sometimes catch glimpses of happier Isaac when we play or when you are dancing… So KEEP DANCING! You are awesome at it and you know it! Even though you are really shy about it.


Isaac, we have something special and we both know it. WE both find so much comfort just being with each other. When everyone else is having the time of their life dancing, singing, or playing you often choose to sit in my lap and play with my hands or my beard while we watch. I couldn’t even begin to express how much I love that you do that. I can tell that feeling my chest move your head as I breathe gives you such a sense of security, as it does me. Somehow, by magic, we always seem to know what the other is saying even though we often can’t understand each other (which comes in handy often in translating to the other kids). When I see you cry it takes everything in me not to cry with you, which says a lot considering I go years without crying.

I know that the thing that would make us both most happy would be to always be together.

Alex-

Oh, Alex. If I could ever begin to somehow let you know how much happiness you bestow on me, than I would. I laugh every time I think about how our relationship started. As always, you would finish your schoolwork a good half hour before most the other children in the class. Meanwhile, you would notice me struggling to sharpen the pencils with a razorblade and without saying a word come grab the razor and pencil from my hands and effortlessly, perfectly sharpen it for me in seconds flat. You did that about ten times a day for an entire week!

Now, we just have sooo much fun together. Your laugh, OH YOUR LAUGH, is the most awesome, heartfelt and contagious laugh. I love that every time we make eye contact the biggest grin spreads across your face, even though sometimes you try hard not to.

It amazes me how effortlessly you seem to do everything, yet you are awesome at everything you do. You live life as if you haven't a care in the world, and I am not sure if you do. Whenever I ask you your age or your birthday you just look at me with an expression of 'Why would I know that and what does that have to do with anything, I'm Alex...' You are just down for whatever is going on around you and involve yourself as much as you can.

You are always the center of attention and entertain everyone enough that no one seems to mind. I love that no matter how many times I have cleaned and bandaged that gnarly gash on your leg, without fail the next day it is gushing blood, dirty and the bandage is hanging off (no matter how much tape I wrap around it) but you act as if it doesn't exist or cause you any pain when I know it has to.

I'm not sure how I am going to go a day without hearing your AMAZING laugh, much less an hour without seeing you handsome smile. I love that you will be doing cartwheels around the entire field then immediately come pass out in my arms for 20 minutes only to wake back up and do it again. It's crazy for how small your hands are they fit so comfortably in mine as we walk wherever we are going, and you make sure of it.

Quick Update

It is crazy that I have been here for a MONTH already! It has gone by so fast! I thought I would give a brief (very brief) update of what I have been up to.

Since being here I have been working at Lilly Kindergarten and Primary School, a school of about 200 students ranging from ages 3-15. I have gotten to know most of the children and love well... most of them. I mostly teach the 1st and 2nd graders and holy cow is it tough! Tasha if you could give me some pointers on how to control that many small children then pleeeaaaasssee tell me.

They Headmaster of the school also runs an orphanage near the school. There are 22 kids there and they are whom I spend most all my free time with. They are all so much fun and are the greatest collection of kids I have ever met.

Crazy story-- After the first couple of weeks being here I noticed a stroooonnnggg bond between myself and 3 of the boys at the orphanage, Dembe Isaac, Mwesigwa Alex, and Tugume Paddy. Not knowing nearly anything about them I asked the Headmaster for a bit of their history... Come to find out they are BROTHERS? Too NUTS!?! I know. I have since written them each a letter and am trying to decide whether to give it to them or not. But I will put them on here:)

PICTUURRREEESS!!!!!

JK! being the retard that I am, I forgot to bring the cord that connects my camera to the computer... For BOTH my cameras... But my kind mother is sending those soon! I have been trying to figure out how to describe what my experience here is like but have decided that it is impossible without pictures. So the is to be continued... Just thought I'd let everyone know that I am doing great and I am still alive and well! Hopefully I can put some pictures up soon so that my blog is a bit more interesting.

Love you all. Miss you all, especially Penelope!

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Yup. That is about all my brain could come up with to name this entry. I leave for my epic journey in T-minus 15 hours!!! So, as you could assume, my brain is quite... scattered.

Am I ready to go? Yeahhh right! For anyone that knows me, they'd be confident in saying I leave EVERYTHING to the very last minute I possibly can. I must admit, I am quite proud that at least I have everything I plan to take in One Giant Pile! (thanks Mom for putting up with my countless piles scattered throughout your usually spotless house this past week!)Should I be concerned that I have devoted more room in my suitcases to candy, books, and stuff for the kids than for my stuff? Well... I am not... but my Mom sure is!

I can NOT believe that I am finally going! It is here! I don't think I can thank my parents enough for helping me sooooooo much with getting to this point. They honestly are the BEST in the world. I have never been more excited for anything in my life! My only worry is that I will not be able to handle being apart for Penelope for sooooo long:( Oh and thank you Heather for taking care of my fish while I am gone.

So... Let me do one last run-through of what I need to take:

Backpack: Check
Clothing (including underwear which I ALWAYS forget to pack): Check and Check
Bug Repellent and Bug Net: Check
Sanitizing Water Bottle: Check
Passport: Check
Malaria Pills: Check
Glasses: Check
First Aid Kit: Check
Sheets For my Cot: Check
Spending Money: ..... OH SHIT! Luckily, everything in Africa is dirt cheap and thanks to adderall I know I can go up to 4 days without eating... Oh and I mustn't forget to thank those of you who were able to help me out a little with this one! :)

Why?

Who would have thought that a basic three-letter word with such a simple meaning could be so significant? Surprising as it may be, the usual response from other people when told of my upcoming trip to Africa is, "Why?". Like reallllly? How is it so hard for people to wrap their head aroung the concept of doing something for others just because you can... So, my typical response to their question, which I thought would suffice, was "To help the people that live there".

As I got closer to my date of departure and the reality had set in that I am actually going!!!, I found myself asking myself the same question of WHY? I mean, I've been telling myself since high school that I was going to do this... But WHY? Why this? Why now? Was this an attempt to make myself known for something? Was it a way of making myself feel good, boost my morale? Was it an impetuous attempt at wooing a girl? Was it a way for me to escape from MY reality? Having pondered these questions for a bit, I realized my true answer to the question, "WHY?"

Having been born into a family that actively practiced the Mormon religion,(which I migh add is a religion that HIGHLY revolves around service), I was intensely taught from birht to 'Love One Another'. It was also engrained in me to view each and every person, no matter who they are, or how, when or where they lived, as my brother and/or sister. These teachings, along with seeing constant examples of them through my family and community, predisposed me to have a compassionate and empathetic persona. Being subpar at almost anything I attempted as a child (school, sports, socializing), I discovered one thing that I was good at... and that was helping others with their happiness. I remember, as a child I constantly found myself worried, disgruntled, and/or distressed with the problems of others, even if it was somebody whom had no relation or significance to me. A few examples I remember: Worrying that the fat girl 3 grades my junior is happy and has friends; stressing over my friend that lives in a condo and has no father (yes, at that age I viewed living in a condo to be substandard); worrying about the well-being of the new girl who constantly falls asleep in class and lives with her aunt. Interest in the well-being of others has always been a major influence to my thoughts and actions.

At a young age, I was very interested in animals, in fact, I loved them, I LIVED for them. So, for obvious reasons, Africa was somewhere I found particularly interesting. I mean, for my entire 6th grade year I was adamant that everyone refer to me as Tarzan. It was in elementary that I first noted the differences in the lifestyles of the African people and myself. My school was raising money for an African tribe and many in-school activities were centered around this fundraiser. We learned a lot about the tribe and I remember finding it fascinating that people lived so differently than I did and things that I had believed to be standard elements of life (parents, food, housing, clothes, toys) weren't so standard for these people. At the time, I wanted to go over there and do anything I could to help, but did not even consider it as a possibility. For the remainder of my childhood, I remember taking particular interest in any stories that involved people living in Africa. I have since come to the realization that Africa has been the "forgotten continent". It appears that, throughout history, Africa has been a constant shitting ground for the world. It's natives treated like animals, viewed as "property" and unintelligent, there to serve other humans. It's resources were anybody's for the taking. The natural cultures and methods of living ignored with the attempted colonization of the continent, only to later be abandoned to figure it out for themselves.

It was not until High School, at a time when I was questioning everything about myself, that I first considered the idea of going to Africa. With the impending question of whether or not to serve a mission for the Mormon church upon me, I began to thoroughly evaluate my beliefs and weigh the infinite directions my life could take. I knew that a mission was something my family found to be extremely important, not only because it was something the church strongly suggested but because they thought it was an invaluable experience in self-growth, discipline, and generosity. This kind of experience was something I desired as well, but the idea of a mission was hard for me because I couldn't justify paying all this money and time to go "Preach the Word of God" when I could use those same resources to do something more meaningful for humanity. I mean, don't you find priority in helping people that have difficulties just living their current lives over trying to prevent possible complications with their after-life? It was then that the idea of going on a humanitarian trip to Africa, to help people like the ones I've been learning about all my life, crossed my mind as a legitimate possibility and became a preferred alternative to serving a mission. The start of college kind of put my plan to go to African on the back-burner, but my desire to lend a hand was manifested through many essays written that revolve around some problem that some people in Africa face, such as the AIDs epidemic or conflict diamonds. So... When I realized that I had no obligations this summer and accepted that it may be the last summer that I have the availability, I jumped on my dream of a humanitarian expedition in Africa.

So there. That is WHY.

Let's Start Things Off.

I find a person's blog to be the most effective way, provided on the internet, to get inside their head. It reflects their interests, worries, thoughts, and values, even if unintentional. I hope the same applies to mine. I am initially making this blog as a public journal for my upcoming trip to Africa. I hope that I can adequately express my experience there, through this blog. As it being my first time blogging and my first time living on a foreign continent for a period longer than a few weeks, I ask that you bare with me. I am not promising anything interesting, entertaining, or unusual, as in, anything worth reading. I do, however, promise to provide my raw, uncensored, personal view of my world.